Rage Chokes the Flower....
by Sara Angeldust
Summary: Sara was once normal. But when war calls all pasts are put aside. But as the Eve war gets underway Sara aborts her duties only to return and come into the lives of the pilots.
1. Confirmation Of A Lost Soul

"Rage Chokes the Flower...."  
By: Sara Angeldust   
Chapter 1: Confirmation of a lost soul  
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Rage chokes the flower,  
Until she cries no more,  
Possessing all the beauty,  
Hungry still for more.  
  
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*Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's respective characters.(other then Sara, of course.)  
Please don't sue me. I have no money, so just don't!^_^  
If you wish to borrow any of my info please ask me first and give me credit for my hard work. This is my life so don't take it with out permission!(Don't take it at all for that matter^_^)  
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Space. For some it was the place of the future. A place to live and to work. But for others it was a wasteland. A place so far from reality, emotions, and humanity it was almost comforting. For this girl it was nothing like either. For her it was Hell. The one place she knew she would end up dying in, and a place she knew she would also live and breathe in. Most could say it started when she first arrived there. But actually it had started years before. This is her story. A story of a soul that was destined to become lost. And then found once again.  
  
Drowning. That's what it felt like. It was like drowning in a sea of her own misery. A sea she could not swim out of. So she let herself sink. She could fell the blackness of Space all around her. She could hear as the oxygen tank, that was still attached to her back, strain to get the last precious amounts of air to her starving lungs. When the tank would give out she knew she would have at least 5 minutes of life left. She was trained to hold her breathe for at least 10, but she decided she would let it end quickly. She strained to lift her right arm to a point that she was able to see the oxygen indicator on her wrist. O minutes. The oxygen had run out. She felt the small amount of air current that was circulating in her helmet stop abruptly. She held her breathe. It was the end. The end of her miserable life. She was glad. Was it her mind, or were those lights coming toward her real? She decided it was her mind's last resort to try to give her hope that she would live. She didn't want to live. So why was her mind making it seem like there was a ship there? The hallucination kept on going. She could see an imaginary arm come out from the large craft and grab around her waist. The lights became brighter. Then everything went black.  
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Darkness. A huge cloak of blackness surrounded her. Where was she? Was this Hell? No. She could tell that she was still alive. Damn! Why didn't she die? She could tell her eyes were closed so she opened them. It hurt to even do that. She must have really banged herself up. As she opened her eyes a bright light poured in. She blinked to adjust her eyes to the light. She was in a room. To her right she saw a monitor, with a sort of familiar bleeping sound. A heart monitor. She strained to lift her arms but could only manage to lift her right one. An IV. She must be in a hospital. But she had been drifting in space and she had at least been 300 kilometers away from the nearest colony, she couldn't have floated that far. She tried to lift herself up, she had to get out of this place. Her ribs and stomach ached as she tried to get up. She felt a gentle hand push back on her shoulders trying to get her to lie back down.  
"Don't move, you've got to rest. You really hurt yourself out there." It was a female voice. She could tell. She looked to her left and saw a girl about her age. She had short, bobby, reddish brown hair, and kind green eyes.  
"Wha.....where am I?" She asked. Lying back down in her bed.  
"You're on the route of a traveling circus. We found you drifting around in space. You're air tank had run out so it's a good thing we found you when we did." The girl with the reddish brown hair said.   
A traveling circus. Well that made sense. Circus performers always get hurt so why not have the facilities to heal them.   
"My name is Catherine. I don't expect you to tell me your name just yet." Catherine said getting up to leave.  
This was perfect. It would be a great place to live and forget about her past. She could become an acrobat. Her life might just be worth living after all.  
Just as Catherine was about to walk out the door the girl spoke.  
"Catherine." Her voice was weak but just loud enough for Catherine to hear.  
"Yes."  
" My name is Sara." Catherine nodded her head before leaving the room. Sara settled back into the bed. So this would be her new life.  
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After one week of healing, Sara finally was able to get up and walk around. She talked to Catherine about a job as an acrobat. Catherine was completely over joyed to accept Sara since their resident acrobat had broken his wrist. Before Sara began her work as the resident acrobat, Catherine insisted on showing her around the erected tent and trailer areas. As Catherine showed Sara around the area, Sara began to wonder how a circus this small could have stayed in business this long even during the heat of the war. Sara was about to ask Catherine about it when something caught her eye. Crouching next to the lions cage was a boy. He couldn't have been any older then Sara herself and the way his brown hair feel over his right eye made him seem almost mysterious. As they past, the boy didn't seem to notice, but as they turned the corner of the nearest trailer Sara saw him stare right at her with an almost hateful, yet curious look in his eyes. Sara shivered. She had seen many people give her those sort of looks before, but never had anyone done it with such knowledge and true feeling in their eyes. Especially when their eyes where as dark green as the grass itself. Shoving the feeling into the back of her mind Sara tried to concentrate on what Catherine was saying, but all she could see were those green eyes pouring into her own.   
They had reentered the tent and Catherine showed Sara where she could change and practice at. After showing Sara to a small dressing room, Catherine left to allow her some time to change. Sara looked around the small room. On the opposite wall facing the door their was a small vanity table with lights around it, and some small boxes sitting on the table part. Next to the vanity their was a large trunk. Sara walked over to it and opened the top. The trunk was filled with different body suits .After sifting through the different outfits, Sara decided on a long sleeve black body suit with a small silver strip going down each arm.   
She looked herself over in the mirror before stepping out of the room. Just as she did so Catherine came running down the hall.  
" Sara. I'm glad I caught you before you left. Our manager would like you to audition for him at the ring." Catherine said half out of breathe.  
"Does he want me right now?" Sara asked   
"Well yes, if it's convenient." Sara thought for a minute then agreed.  
Catherine escorted Sara to the large orange and red tent that had been erected in the center of all the trailers. As they walked into the tent Sara could see all sorts of different people practicing for their different acts. Some men in T-shirts and shorts were yelling at some lions who must have not been paying attention to them. The lions just sat their and stared at the yelling men. As they walked farther into the tent Sara noticed a tall man dressed in a long red, orange, and yellow jacket, and a pair of black pants. The manager she guessed. He was talking to someone she could not see. Even though Sara's hearing was very strong she couldn't seem to hear their conversation.   
"Manager!" Catherine yelled at the man in the red jacket. The man turned around and Sara could see the person he was talking to. It was the boy from the lions pen! He stared at her with small curiosity, and surprise before looking at Catherine.   
"Manager, this is the girl I was telling you about. Her name is Sara, and she'd like to audition for you." Catherine said. Sara could see the excitement in her eyes. If only Sara could be that excited about life.  
"Well then, let's see it." The man said. Sara nodded and walked over to the tall poll that had the steps leading up to the swinging bars. She began to climb. Sara never felt nervous. Not even when she was younger. The feeling had never ever crossed her mind. Ever.   
  
Trowa watched as the black haired girl climbed the tall poll to where the acrobatic bars were. Ever since she had come to the circus, Trowa always felt a wave of secrecy and misery whenever he was around her. It was like she had some dark secret. She really actually reminded him of Heero, always serious but with a small something hidden inside. Trowa watched as the girl reached the top and jumped to catch the first bar, and began to swing, gaining momentum to flip off. As she finally got enough momentum the girl flung herself from the first bar flipping about four times and catching the next bar. Next to him Catherine caught her breathe as the girl began to swing again, gaining more momentum on the bar. Trowa focused in hard on the girls' eyes. he noticed no fear in eyes and strangely, not even the awareness that she was actually swinging in mid air. All the tricks must have come naturally. If they were this girl must be very , very good, Trowa thought.   
  
  
Sara was out of breathe when she landed on the podium connected to the poll. She heard wild clapping  
coming from underneath her where Catherine and the manager stood. As she looked down she could only see two of the three present faces looking up in astonishment at her. The boy who had been there seemed to be in deep thought not remembering that she was even up there. Sara climbed down the poll and jumped from the seventh to last step to land on the ground. Catherine rushed over to Sara.  
"That was amazing. I don't think I've ever seen someone do a routine with such skills and relaxation." Catherine said. Sara just nodded.  
"Well done young lady." Sara heard the manager say to her. She turned around to see him for the first time close up. He was a tall man with a small black beard and a red coat.  
"Thank you very much sir." Sara said, not taking her eyes of the boy who was seated just behind the manager on a crate.  
"Catherine." The manager spoke, taking Sara out of her stare.  
"Make sure this girl is given a good room and clothes." Catherine stared at the manager intently.  
"Manager, do you mean...." Catherine said  
"Yes," the man stuck out his hand to Sara.   
"Welcome to our circus." Sara took the man's hand and shook it. As she was doing this the boy who had been sitting behind the manager got up and walked toward the group. The manager noticed him and motioned for him to come over. When the boy reached them the manager began to speak.  
"Sara I would like you to meet Trowa Barton, our head clown." Sara almost fainted in astonishment.  
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So........ how'd ya like it? I would love to hear your comments.(no bad ones please.)This is my first GW fic so give me your input. I would love to hear it.  
  
don't miss chapter 2 of Untold Secrets: Past's never die.  



	2. Past's Never Die

"Rage Chokes the Flower...."

By: Sara Angeldust 

Chapter 2: Past's Never Die
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Rage chokes the flower,

Until she cries no more, __

Possesing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more.
    
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*Disclaimer: Same as before. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's respective characters. (*except Sara Angeldust) If you wish to borrow Sara please ask first.Thx

*NOTE* I forgot to mention this in the first chapter but this story takes place right after Heero self distructed. Now you may be asking, Well then were's Heero? To answer this, he is still in a coma. Do you guys remember when he wakes up? Well I don't remember which colony they were on so I'm pretending they're on L4.(little bit of a spoiler to where they're headed.) Weh! that felt good to get off my chest. So anyho without further ado, Here is chapter 2. (I'm a poet and I didn't even know it^_^ People in the background cheering. Yeah!)

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Sara sat on the edge of the soft bed in her new room. It had been only three days since she recovered from being found half dead in space. She was doing great as the new acrobat and the manager had told her that attendance at their shows were going up. People loved her, she was a star. But with all the attention she was getting, Sara still felt there was something wrong. There always seemed to be something hanging in the space around her head. Watching her, waiting for her to slip and tell what she dreaded to tell. But she promised herself that she wouldn't succumb to the pressure of starting her life over. And Trowa. Ever since she had met him there had always seemed to be something more about him. Something he, also, wouldn't tell. But now that she new his name she new exactly who he was, or for that matter what he was. Why hadn't she noticed him before? She had seen his picture a lot on computer screens and had made it a priority to memorize the hair. She must have forgotten. 

Sara's head began to hurt. Even though she was fully healed from her little suicide attempt, Sara still got small headaches . Deciding to go take a walk to relieve the headache, Sara got up off the bed and headed for the door. Flicking the light switch on the wall off, opening and closing the door behind her , she walked down the hall of the space craft. The hall way was dark and stuffy. It was simulated as being night so as to give the people in the space craft some sleep. They had spent only a week at the L2 colony and were traveling to the L4 and would arrive in 3 days. '3 days' Sara thought. Just 3 days to decide. 

Sara continued to walk down the hall, listening to the sound of her clanking stealtoed boots. She would have to remind herself to buy a quieter pair of boots when they reached the colony. As she turned the corner Sara saw a light up ahead , illuminating the dark hall. Sara looked at her watch. It was almost 2 in the morning and she wondered who would be up at this time. As she got closer to the room Sara could hear someone speaking. She crept down next to the wall and slowed her breathing and heart rate, just incase the person who was there had ever had some military training and could hear her. Sara reached the door and looked into the room. 

It was a small storage room but had been transformed into a sort of base. A small desktop computer had been placed on a small desk in the corner of the room and a small printer was hooked up to it. But the most shocking thing in the room wasn't the computer but the person who was in it looking into the monitor of the desktop. She couldn't mistake that hair for anyone else's. 

It was Trowa! He seemed to be looking at some message on the screen. Sara looked harder at the gray screen and saw typing. As she read, her eyes widened. It was a mission! Sara knew Trowa was a Gundam Pilot from the first time she heard his name, but she didn't think that he was still taking orders. Why would he be here in the circus? Unless he was hiding out until his mission came. That was it, he was waiting for this very mission. Sara read the rest of the message then left the door, creeping back to her room. She opened the door quietly and turned on the light, shutting the door. She stopped right in front of the door. Sara had read the rest of the mission. The mission had told Trowa to go to the L4 colony and distroy an OZ base that was giving the colonys some trouble. Lucky for Trowa they were heading strait for the L4 colony. Sara began to shudder uncontrollably. She sat down on her bed s to stop the shaking. As soon as she became clam Sara cleared her mind. She had come from the L4 colony, where she stole a cruiser and headed for her doom near the L2 colony. There was a thing there at the L4 that she didn't want to retrieve. But if event the meir mention of the l4 colony made her shudder why was she so excited? Deep down Sara knew she had to get it. She would decide what to do in the morning, right now she needed some sleep. And with that thought Sara got up, turned off the light switch and climbed into the warm covers of her bed.

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You can never tell when morning or night is in space. But on the space craft they had clocks that would keep the exact time so no one would forget. 

Sara was awakened by the sound of her alarm. She got up and looked out the small circular window that was across from her bed. She would never get used to the fact that no matter when she got up, it would always seem like night. Sara got up out of her bed and stumbled for the bathroom. After taking a cold shower she would get to her chores. Not even the star acrobat could escape the infamous chores.

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Trowa was little more then excited to have finally received his mission. He had been confined to the circus for far to long and it was getting harder to keep people away from the docking bay where he had hidden Heavyarms. But one thing still was bothering him. The night before when he had received his mission he had sworn he felt the presence of someone else out side the room. But his sense's told him other wise. He had dismissed it until this morning when he examined the door outside the room where his mission had come in. There he found a hair. It was a dark shad of black brown, which could only be known as Sara Angeldust's. But what puzzled him was why the silent girl would want to spy on him? She had been found in space away from any colony which could have been an enemy base, and even if she was a spy, why would she almost kill herself just to get to him? As the thoughts raved through his mind Trowa was unaware of a shadow following behind him. 

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Sara had been shadowing and keeping a close eye on Trowa since the day she spied on him in the storage room. She knew he was a Gundam pilot, now all she needed to know was where he was hiding his mobile suit. It was her duty to find it. She would need as much information about Trowa as she could get. 

Sara stopped as Trowa entered the arena near the animal cages. She looked at her watch. It was 12:30. Time for Trowa's routine animal feeding's. While Trowa worked as a clown in the ring his chores also consisted of feeding the animals. Sara had observed that Trowa had befriended the lion the circus called Leo, and would always go to Leo's cage first. Getting closer to Leo's cage by ducking behind a large crate Sara sat, watched, and listened. Leo began to purr loudly as Trowa approached his cage. 

Sara had never thought of Trowa as the type who could befriend anything. Ever since the day she met him he was always very quiet and never said anything. The perfect personality for a Gundam Pilot. But there was always something beneath the surface of Trowa that Sara knew was their trying to come out. Sara could tell things like that about people. She had an uncanny sense of what type of personality someone had from just looking at them. But Trowa made her head spin, he was almost as complex as herself.

Trowa grabbed a crate from behind the lions huge cage and pulled it in front of the metal bars. He sat on it and took a piece of meat out of the bucket he was carrying. With absolutely no fear, Trowa reached into the lion cage and as if Leo was getting a treat, he took it from his hand. As Leo ripped at the large piece of meat, Trowa patted his head. The lion began to purr even louder then before. 

Standing up, Sara began to walk from behind the large crate. Leo sensed her and began to growl as she came nearer to Trowa and the lion. Trowa paid her no mind but was diffenantly aware she was there.

"So." Sara said standing beside and a little behind Trowa. The lion had stopped growling.

"What are you up to." Sara crossed her arms and waited for a response from Trowa. He said nothing. Sara smiled.

"Well your a quiet one aren't you. Trowa Barton." Sara smiled even wider. She knew she would get his attention by saying his last name. Trowa turned his head toward her and stared at her, giving her a mean look.

"What do you want." he asked. Sara grabbed an extra crate from behind the lion's cage and sat down.

"Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to see if you were actually alive in that body." Sara said folding her arms and staring at the lion. Trowa was still staring at Sara. He looked away then spoke.

"How did you know my last name?" He asked her slightly annoyed(Note: From the Author: "it's a shock to Trowa because no one has told Sara his last name.). Sara took a deep breath.

"We're not all that different Trowa. It was given to me as my duty ever since I was oh, 10 years old, to know your full name." Sara stopped smiling. Trowa took this to offense, he stared hard into her eyes with the look of pure hatred that he had given her a long time ago, this time he meant it. Trowa quickly stood up, grabbing a gun from his holster belt. Aiming it at Sara he glared at her. 

"Who are you! I demand to know!" He spoke forcefully and aimed the small pistol at her head. Sara sighed a tired sigh and stood up she glared at the pistol un afraid, then smiled. 

"There's no need for a weapon against me Trowa. I'm unarmed and I wouldn't hurt you. Like I said before, we're not that different." Sara said. Un affected by her words Trowa spoke again.

"And as I said before, I demand to know who you are." Tightening his grip on the trigger, Trowa stared at her with an evil in his eyes so horrible Sara had to tighten her own grip on her sanity. She smiled. And began to walk away, giving her venerable back to Trowa's aiming gun. Sara walked a couple steps before answering him.

"You'll know my name in due course." She yelled behind her, walking toward the back of the tent.

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Trowa was totally and utterly convinced. He hated that black haired girl named Sara. When he had tried to look up any information on her all he found were empty files and wrong names. If that didn't convince him she was a spy nothing would. Why, if she was innocent she would have files and a clear record, but now only one option came to his mind. He would either have to get the truth out of the girl or kill her.

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Sara lay on her bed. Her hands behind her head, staring at the ceiling. She was smiling. It was funny. No matter how she looked at it all she could come up with was that her meeting with Trowa was funny. Of course if she knew Gundam Pilots, which she did, she would know that at this moment Trowa was plotting to kill her. But all she could do was smirk. Was it because she had come to close to death one to many times, or was it because she wasn't scared? She didn't know and would probably never. Suddenly the smile vanished from her face.

"Oh, my god." Sara stared wide eyed at the ceiling. When she had talked to Trowa she had told him she wasn't that much different then him. Unless she wanted to be hunted down by him she would have to explain herself. That was the last thing she wanted to do. Or was it? Maybe it was time to tell someone about her past. She had tried to conceal it for a long time and trying to hide it was just making it worse. Sara sighed. She would have to tell Trowa the truth. And she would have to do it that day. She had checked the ships navigational chart the night before and saw that the ship would be arriving at the L4 colony the day after the next. She would have to tell him before then. Or else she would end up being hunted down by Trowa because he thought she was a spy sent by OZ. Oh, well, telling someone was a lot better then being hunted down by an angry Gundam Pilot.

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Meet me behind the lions cage at about 3am. I won't tell you to come

unarmed because I know it will be in vain. Just make sure to come with an open mind.

Sincerely,

Well, you know who I am. 

Trowa read the note once then tore it up and threw it away. The girl wasn't going to get away that easily with just being cocky. But she was right. He was going armed and her telling him not to would probably give him more of a reason to kill her. Trowa grabbed his gun from underneath his mattress and set out to meet with Sara

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Sara stood with her arms crossed above her chest, behind the lions cage. She knew better then to sit, just incase Trowa decided to kill her before hearing her out. Sara looked at her watch. It was 3am on the dot. Trowa knew better then to be late. Sara knew this and decided to do something she hadn't done since she was 12. Closing her eyes Sara let go of her mind. Like a dog sniffing through a pile of garbage, it checked out every aspect of the tent. Sara felt a small prick on her left arm and pulled her wandering mind back into her, making sure to keep a good grip on it. Sara looked towarddd the left into the darkness, and noticed a small shadow kneeling down on the other side of the cage.

"You don't have to hide, Trowa Barton," Sara said holding up her arms. 

"I'm unarmed." Slowly Trowa came out of the shadows and stood up. Sara looked into his eyes. The calm dark green that had once been there had disappeared and had been replaced by a stiffing hatred. A hatred a person would give someone who had killed their family right in front of them. Sara tried to soften the look by smiling, but to no avail. She looked down at his hand, seeing the same pistol he had used to threaten her before. Trowa walked up to Sara, standing a good 4ft away, just in case she lied about being unarmed.

"You don't have to be so cautious Trowa. I came to confess something, not to hurt you." Sara sat down on the crate near her. putting her hands in her lap. Trowa just stared at her. Then spoke.

"What do you want Sara Angeldust. Or is that even your real name?" Sara closed her eyes and smiled. 

"For now yes. Sara Angeldust is my real name. But that's not what you want to know is it Trowa Barton." Trowa gave Sara a bad look at using is name like that. Sara noticed this and sighed. She would have to give Trowa an explanation soon or else he would shoot her. She could see that much tension in his eyes. 

"Trowa do you remember when I told you that I'm not that different then you?" Sara asked looking at Trowa. Trowa gave her a small nod.

"Well what if I told you that we were so a like that we were given the same fate ever since we were little." Trowa gave Sara a confused look. She sighed and decided to say it.

"Trowa, we have the same mission. I'm a soldier Trowa. Or if you really want to be precise." Sara stood up and walked towards Trowa. Stopping just about one foot away form him. Trowa didn't waver. He stood his ground. 

"My code name is Gundam 06. I am a Gundam pilot." Trowa's hatred was erased by pure shock. He almost dropped the gun he had in his left hand. 

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'This girl can't be a gundam pilot!' he thought. Suddenly his shock turned into a doubtful look. He didn't believe her. He took the gun in both hands pointing it, two inches away from her face.

"Your lying." He said. Sara sighed, Exaustedly.

"Must we go through this again! It's up to you to believe me Trowa, but I'm telling you now that I'm telling the truth." Sara said backing up.

"I'll be leaving as soon as we reach the L4 colony. If you want to kill me you had better do it before then." Sara turned around to walk away then remembered.

"Oh and Trowa. If that friend of yours who's in a coma wake's up, tell me k?" Trowa watched Sara walk back towards the crew hallway. He put his gun in it's holster and scratched his head.

"How in the heck does she do that?" He said walking back to his room.

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YEAH! I GOT IT DONE! Sorry bout' the wait. Had a lot of stuff to do. Anyho, how did ya like it? Was it better then the first chapter? Talk to me people! Oh and by the way for all of you die hard fan's of G-Wing who have just realized that they are supposed to be on Earth. Don't yell at me! I had a momentary brain failure OK!!!! K, any ho just make sure to read this and be ready for Chapter 3: Dreams of the Past

Oh and P.S give me ur info any and all comments are acepted. Good or Bad so e-mail me at: sandrock_angel@hotmail.com

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	3. Dreams Of The Past

"Rage Chokes the Flower...."

By: Sara Angeldust

Chapter 3: "Dreams of the past"

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Rage chokes the flower,

Until she cries no more,

Possesing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more. 

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*Disclaimer*: Regular disclaimer applies here. I don't own Gundam Wing yada yada yada. I do own Sara Angeldust, Anderson and her parents. Other characters are owned by Sotsu and Sunrise companies yada yada yada. This is for entertainment purposes only, I'm getting no money from this story. *snaps fingers* Damn.

*Authors Note* oh and by the way just for fun I have put a poem/song in this chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read it! It will help you feel what Sara is feeling. Once you have read it, it may not make any sense to you but once you read the first part of this chapter you will understand it. PLEASE DO THIS! I would love it if those who read my fic can actually feel what I'm writing. Ok here it goes.

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"Silence"

By: Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan

Arranged by: Me, Sara Angeldust

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(Note: I do not own these words, they are copyrighted to those people above. I may have added or taken out one or two words but it's still theirs. Don't sue me I just loved the words and they fit really well with my story. I am using them for entertainment purposes only and I am getting no money from having these words in this chapter. Thank you.)

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Give me release,

Witness me,

I am outside,

Give me peace.

Heaven holds a sense of wonder, __

And I wanted to believe,

That I'd get called up, 

When this rage in me subsides,

Passion chokes the flower,

Until she cries no more,

Possessing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more.

Heaven holds a sense of wonder,

And I wanted to believe,

That I'd get called up,

When this rage in me subsides.

In this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence,

In this white wave,

In this silence,

I believe.

I can't help this longing,

Comfort me,

I can't hold it all in,

If you won't let me.

Heaven holds a sense of wonder,

And I wanted to believe,

That I'd get called up,

When this rage in me subsides.

In this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence,

In this white wave,

In this silence,

I believe,

I have seen you,

In this white wave you are silent,

You are breathing, in this white wave.

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*Authors Note*- ok, welcome to the third chapter of "Rage Chokes the Flower…". I have a couple of things that I need to fix here. First off this damn Earth/Space thing is driving me insane! I will fix it up in this chapter so I will need to do some Jedi mind tricks on you. K? Alright #1u wil think as I say. The ship that is carrying the circus is in space .....they are headed for the L4 colony......Heero finds the kin of that dude he killed on L4........k?. Even though this may not be true just play along ok? Will u pretend if I tell u that it will save hundreds of under payed gophers?(inside joke)

Ok I also I need to clarify somethin else 'bout this chapter. This chapter has to do with a dream Sara has. I'm not going to introduce it like she's having a dream, I'm just going to go strait into it so don't get all confuzzled. k? ok here it goes......

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A.C. 188

(The L4 Colony)

Two eyes stood transfixed on the sight unfolding in front of her. (The small 8 year old girl was too short to see through the window so an old crate helped her in the height problems.)Her dark brown, almost black eyes stared intently at the even darker scene of a familiar world. Space. Small stars could be seen from her window, and one special star seemed to wink at her. Actually it wasn't a real star, it was a colony. A place of residence for those who chose to live in space.

It was one of many colonies in the area. Of course colony No. LG7289 had a beautiful city, and the parks at colony LE1462 were the prettiest she had ever seen, but nothing compare to the wonder and beauty hidden in the steel alloy walls of colony L4.

Her real home lay on Earth in Asia, but ever since she was 5, L4 was her home. The small girl couldn't help but be excited. This would be the first time her parents were going on a trip without taking her or her 4 year old sister Heather. But at the same time she felt left behind. Even though her father had explained to her the importance of this trip to the L1 colony.

"Sara?" 

A voice behind her caught the child's attention. 

It was Anderson followed by Dr. J. Anderson was Sara's family's butler and Dr. J was her mobile suit trainer. Dr. J had been teaching Sara her piloting skills ever since she was 4, and although he was very strict he was a good teacher. Sara had developed higher skills then some of the older mobile suit pilots. 

"Yes." Sara said turning towards the two men with a twinkle in her eye.

"Your parents are about to leave Ms. it's about time we get to the docking bay." 

Sara knodded her head and jumped off the crate, walking a couple paces in front of the men. Her excitement was almost uncontrollable. She loved her parents dearly and always hated it when they left her alone, but she also loved the adventure. Her father would always give her a little speech on how to behave while they were away and Sara always followed it to the very last detail. But something didn't seem the same and her fears were put to the truth when she saw her parents. They were standing next to the doorway to the entrance bay of the ship they were to leave on.

"Daddy!" 

Sara ran to her father as soon as she saw him. Giving him a huge hug. Her father scooped his daughter up into his arms and squeezed her tight, as if he wanted to take her with him. He held Sara out in front of him, Sara putting her hands on his shoulders.

"My goodness. By the way you came running it was as if we hadn't seen each other in months." Her father said in a tenor voice filled with love. 

Sara smiled happily. "Well by how long you say you'll be gone it will seem like that when you come back." Sara said in a sad sounding voice. Her mother, who was standing next to them patted Sara on the shoulder giving Sara a warm feeling of comfort.

"We'll only be gone for two weeks sweety, you'll survive." Her mother said in the sweetest voice she had ever heard. Sara nodded her head and gave her mother a hug, still in her fathers arms. Letting go of mother her father put her down. But Sara felt as if he was doing it reluctantly. As if he wanted to hold her forever. 

Her father crouched down to her level taking something from his jacket pocket. It was a necklace. Sara noticed it as being her fathers. He pulled her hand out so it was outstretched and placed the necklace in her palm closing it.

"This was my mothers. She gave it to me when I was about your age. And now I'm giving it to you." 

Sara opened her palm to look at it. It was a small silver cross with a vine twisted around it. The chain was a beautiful silver thing, but to long for her to wear. And the leaves on the vine were so beautifully crafted Sara almost thought she could pick them off the vine wrapping around the cross. Sara closed her palm over the necklace again and put her closed fits next to her heart.

"I'll never lose it. And when I get old enough I'll never take it off." Sara said looking at her father. Her father smiled at her getting up from his crouching position. Looking at his watch he motioned towards the open tunnel way that extended towards their space craft. 

"We had better get going. Our pilot doesn't like to be kept waiting." Her father looked at Andrews. "Please take care of our daughters while we're gone Andrews." Andrews knodded . Looking at Dr. J, Sara's father gave him a certain, 'don't do anything I wouldn't do' look. Before looking at his wife. 

Sara watched them walk down the tunnel like hallway, waving and shouting good-byes to her parents who gave her one last wave as they disappeared from around the corner. 

Running towards the nearest window Sara stared out, looking at the space craft that was almost out of her parallel field of vision. She watched as the ship detached from the port and slowly made it's way into space. Sara, deciding not to watch them leave, turned around and walked back to the two men. Now that her parents were gone, Sara's adeventure really began. She never knew what new things Anderson had for her to do. Her parents always left him something to teach her, and no matter what new tasks she was given she always had a feeling of forced happiness. As if doing her lessons were not what she should have been doing. oh well, she always enjoyed them no matter what. Suddenly a shout came from the room next to the bay which startled Sara.

"What's that! That mobile suit is going to hit the ship!" 

Sara stiffened. Her parents were on that ship! The small girl ran out the door to the next room, coming to a halt at the doorway. 

She was confronted with a large control room. Sara stared at the large screen depicting he parents craft floating towards space. But coming up fast from the left of them was what looked like a Leo mobile suit. In the room the crew was running around trying to make contact with the intruding mobile suit but with no luck. Suddenly the mobile suit flared to life. It lurched closer to her parents craft as if intentionally. Sara's eyes widened. 

That was no ordinary mobile suit. That suit was going to attack the ship!

As if responding to her thoughts the mobile suit pulled up it's rifle from it's resting place on it's hip and shot one clean shot strait at the small craft. Seconds later the craft exploded. Leaving Sara in a state of shock. 

As if being hit by a freight train Sara felt as her heart shattered in her small chest. She swore she could feel the pieces floating dead in her body. Sara clutched her throat. Air! She was suffocating. The small girl feel to her knees, the explosion playing over and over in her head, an image she knew would haunt her the rest of her life. Sara felt as if she was going to faint, but a warm hand grabbed her, stopping her from falling onto her side. Someone shook her, her lungs still heaving for air she tried to talk but to no avail, all that escaped her mouth was a small groan. Suddenly as if someone had opened a window to and air depleted room, Sara could breathe again. Sara opened her eyes as a sickening feeling passed over body, a feeling of emptiness and neglect. She got up from her kneeling position feeling unnaturally calm, and pushing away the hand that was trying to help her up.

"Are you all right Ms. Sara?" The worried voice of Anderson asked.

Sara was silent. The first emotions of sadness hit her hard, but no tears fell down her small cheeks. Then a new emotion pushed aside the sadness and took over her mind. Anger. Hatred. With the coming of these new emotions, the child Sara had once been was gone. All she could feel was the anger of her parents murder. Those who caused it would pay. Dearly.

Running. All she remembered was running. Past the out stretched arms of Anderson and the suspiciously still figure of Dr. J. Past closed doors, through long black hallways, and past curious looking technicians.

Where was she taking herself? Then she knew. Sara had taken herself to the first place that had come to her mind. The mobile suit entrance bay. And there, only ten feet away from her stood her ticket to revenge. 

The Leo mobile suit.

Before Sara knew what she was doing, she was seated in the cockpit of the nearest mobile suit. The only sound she could hear was the sound of the engines firing up and technicians trying to stop her from leaving. She closed the cockpit door which sealed with a low hiss. The darkness of the suit comforted her as she went through a quick systems check and began to turn the mobile suit towards the large bay doors. A small block appeared on her left screen with the face of the commander. He was yelling at her, but she didn't care. She pushed the nearest button shutting off the screen and it's angry occupant. In a last attempt to stop the girl the technicians began shutting the bay doors. But Sara just gave and angry smirk and lurched the mobile suit forward as fast as she could. Making it through the closing doors in plenty of time, but not enough for any other mobile suits to go through. Sara was confronted with her old friend Space, which was now evil for hiding that horrible assassin from her sight. Flying above the large ship, Sara saw what looked like a small yellow speck streaking across towards Earth.

"System magnify." Sara said causing her left screen to blink a few times before magnifying the yellow speck till it was noticeable. Sara cringed in hatred. It was the suit that had killed her parents! Filled with a new sense of hatred Sara lurched her suit forward again, speeding for the fleeing suit. 

"Sara what in the hell are you doing?!" 

The voice was angry and yet calm at the same time. It took Sara a few seconds to realize that the voice had come from her right screen, where the familiar face of Dr. J had appeared. She stared at it with the hatred that had been plastered on her face. She hated that man no matter how much he had given her. She wanted to get her revenge without interference.

"What does it look like?! I'm taking revenge for my parents." Anger did not flatter the small girl and she began to shake with it. Sara stared at the screen to her left. She was getting closer to the suit. But the man on her right screen shook his head.

"That is not how revenge is supposed to work . Getting yourself killed for it doesn't help your parents. And besides young one, you have your whole life to take revenge for what that pilot has done. Don't end your fight so soon Sara."

Sara stared at the man. What he said was true and deep inside she felt herself arguing over what to do. The hatred she felt for that pilot was so strong that not much was going to hold her back. But she also knew that if she attacked she could get killed, then what vengeance would have been given? 

Sara stopped her suit's lurch towards the other suit. Dr.J was right. She was better off not going after the pilot no matter how much her heart ached. As her anger slowly ebbed away Sara felt it be replaced by and ever growing sadness. She wanted to cry, but for some reason no tears could come to her eyes. Sara was shocked at it. Was her child like self so gone that she could no longer cry anymore? 

Sara looked at the face of Dr. J. He knodded in response to her thought as if he knew what she was thinking.

"Sara the road ahead of you will be very rough. I can see already that it has begun. And you may never be able to go back to the life you once knew. If you choose to follow through with it I will tell you now that you will lose the side of innocence you knew only a few hours ago."

Sara thought about what he said then remembered something.

"What about Heather? She is only 4. What will happen to her?" She said remembering her younger sister that had not been with her or her parents on the trip since she was to young to go in space. Dr. J spoke again.

"She will be able to lead the life that your parents left for you to take. You will be dead to her if you decide to go with me. But you might be able to return to her one day if you wish" 

That thought comforted Sara. She was the only sister Heatherhad ever known but Heather was strong. She would be able to continue with Sara's destiny. And besides, maybe one day Sara might be able to see Hannah again. Then Sara thought about what Dr. J had said about the road she would have to take. She knew he must mean she would continue her mobile suit training and become a soldier. It was the only way Sara could think of to get revenge for her parents. The thought of going into war never scared her but it did make her think about how different it would have been from what her parents wanted her to do. 

"What do you say Sara? Are you ready to take the hidden road?" Dr. J said.

Sara looked at Dr. J. Was she ready? Was she capable of joining with Dr. J and all the others who wanted revenge against those who had taken those close to them? Sara put her 8 year old hands on the mobile suit controls, firing up the engines again. She did a quick movement to turn her mobile suit around to face back towards the ship. She wasn't sure if what she was going to do was right but no matter what, she would have to stick with her decision. For her sisters sake and those who counted on her the most. Those who were dead because of a cruel pilot with a mobile suit. Then she spoke.

"Mission Accepted." 

With those words Sara shot the mobile suit back towards the ship. She would do everything in her small amount of power to make those who had taken away her parents and her child soul from her, suffer.

______________________________________________________________________

A.C. 195

(The Circus)

Sara sat up still awake in her bed. Sweat trickling down her face, she didn't dare go back to sleep for fear of her dream. It had come to her periodically ever since the actually event. As if it was keeping her in line. Making sure she didn't change her mind or forget her promise. But no matter what, she would never forget, no matter how much it ate at her soul. The dream was often frightning, because the thoughts and emotions were so fresh in her mind and it often felt like she was reliving them all over again. What horrors did her mind set to her? Why did it like to play with her head so? For whatever reason that was, it had driven her to suicide more then once, but it laughed at her everytime, for no matter what, somehow, she would survive to live and have the dream again and again.

Sara wiped the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead, releaving it of the sticky water. She wouldn't sleep again that night, that was for sure. Sara looked at the small desk next to her bed. On it was the very necklace that often haunted her dreams. Sara hesitantly reached for it, clasping it back around her neck. As she had promised, she had never taken it off ever since she was able to wear it, but her dreams forced her to disgard it when she sleep for fear of the object bringing more dreams to her head. The necklace scared her, since it was a link to her past which haunted her so. Feeling the small weight around her neck, Sara actually felt a comfort that had once possesed her body when she was smaller, but had left her when her parents died. Memories. 

"I swear those damn memories will eventually kill me." Sara said getting up from her bed. Pulling on her largly flared bellbottoms, and pulling her sleevless, dark green, turtle neck style, tight shirt over her head she sat back down on the bed. Sara grabbed her black steel toed boots from underneath her bed and began trying to pull them over her feet. When put on, her boots went up to just above her ankles so they were a little annoying to put on early in the morning. Having fought with her boots for at least 10 minutes Sara stood back up walking over to her dresser grabbing a silver scrunchie and putting her knee length night black hair into a really low pony tail.. 

(okay imagine knee length night black hair. got it? ok now image a scrunchie wrapped around her hair down about to the middle of her back. got that picture? good.) 

Sara sighed heavly. 

'Well that was less then fulfilling a sleep.' She thought walking towards her door. Opening it with hardly any sound, as she normally did on sleepless nights, Sara walked with a tiger like soundless walk to the navigational computer on the 2nd level of the ship. She had been planning to leave as soon as they had arrived at the L4 colony and since Trowa knew who and what she was, she could expect some sort of help or at least a reaction from him. Well that was Trowa for you. He was either in a sure-why-not mood or a I-really-don't-care mood. Lately he had been in a don't-come-near-me-or-I-might-explode mood for reasons unknown to Sara. Finaly reaching the door to the navigation room Sara noticed a light under the door. Not thinking much about it Sara opened the door. But to her surprise she didn't see an empty navigation room...........

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hehehehehehe. I know. u hate me cause of the cliff hanger. sorry but it just works out later. so whatcha think? comments? Flames? Bashing? just e-mail me at: sandrock_angel@hotmail.com /give me ur opnion.

Oh and stay tuned for the next chapter of the newly titled "Rage Chokes the Flower....." called: 

Chapter 4: "The Shell meets the Perfect Soilder."


	4. The Shell Meets The Perfect Soldier

"Rage Chokes the Flower...."

By: Sara Angeldust

Chapter 4: "The Shell Meets the Perfect Solider"

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Rage chokes the flower, __

Until she cries no more,

Possessing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more.

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*Disclaimer*: Regular disclaimer. The only character that belongs to me is Sara Angeldust, the others are owned by their respectable owners blah blah blah. This is sooooo boring! (can you tell that i'm bored lol) This is for entertainment purposes only and will not be published to the public. blah blah blah. Don't sue me blah blah blah...... ok we're done.

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*Authors Note*: Hellooo people! Did ya like my last chapter? R u ready 4 more? Holy shit I sound like a cheerleader!( no pun intended, sorry to all u cheerleader's out there.) Sorry bout the chaotic switching of the title, I just couldn't stand the title I had before. ok anyhoo this chapter is gunna be good, lotsa stuff' gunna happen and we're gunna start going a bit faster in the story line, so fasten ur seat belts and enjoy the story. Oh and by the way I am not responsible for any lost items, or broken body parts on this ride. Thank u and have a nice day. ^_-

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Sara was at a loss for words. When she walked into the navigation room she hadn't expected to see what see what she actually saw. There, sitting in the chair in front of the computer, was Heero Yuy. Sara had thought she'd seen the last of him when she left the L1 colony but she guessed her hunch was wrong. Leaning against the door and folding her arms over her chest Sara gave the two boys (Trowa was there to) a small smirk.

"Well, well, well. Trowa when I asked you to tell me when your friend woke up I thought you would. And you Heero, I'm surprised. I would never have guessed _you_ to be in a coma." Sara said, keeping her smile intact the intire time. 

The two boys just stared at Sara with no real emotions on either of their faces except for Trowa who was leaning against the wall with a sort of surprised look on his face. But it was Heero who was the first to break the silence, speaking in his usual monotone voice, as he turned to again face his computer screen.

"Hello to you too Sara. I would have thought Dr. J would have found better uses for a pilot such as yourself. Other then flouting in the middle of space half dead." 

Sara frowned giving Trowa a mean look, knowing he was the only one who could have told that to Heero. 

'This guy is even worse then before,' she thought, 'Well at least this time he actually spoke with some sort of an emotion.' 

Of course that was only if you counted being sarcastic a real emotion. But that was Heero for you, you either got a square emotionless face or some sort of a psycho emotion. Oh the humanity. 

Sara's frown disappeared with that thought and her smirk reappeared on her face.

"Hmmm. Well the jokes on you Heero, I'm my own now. I do what I want, at my own disgression." Sara said matter-of-factly. Acting like a child who had just told their parents they could tie there own shoes. Although Heero never looked at Sara she could tell that he had a sort of damn-the-maniac-was-let-loose look on his face when he knodded in response.

Looking at the blinking computer screen Sara noticed a familiar name scroll upward. Silvia Noventa. What would Heero want with Silvia? Sara had known Silvia when she was little, of course by means of her father but couldn't guess what Heero would be wanting with the pacifist oriented girl. So in knownst of not getting an answer she asked any way.

"What do you want with Silvia Noventa, Heero?" Sara asked questioningly.

When Heero gave no response Sara decided to look to Trowa for the answer's she wanted. 

"What does Heero want with Silvia?" Sara asked, whispering underneath Heero's mad typing. Trowa woke up from his semi trance to answer her, leaning over to her ear.

"Awhile back we were called to destroy a cargo of mobile suits that were being taken to space for battle. There were two roots being taken so the five of us split up into two groups taking either the air root or the land root. When we got to our root, the land root, we discovered an OZ plane taking passenger's away from the nearby base. Thinking that the plane was carrying Treize Kushranada Heero shot at it." Trowa paused looking at Heero. Sara also looked in his direction but whispered back to Trowa.

"So, did he kill Treize?" She asked already knowing it couldn't be true or else there would have been news of it all over.

"No, unfortunately the plane was a decoy and was really carrying some important Alliance pacifist's, including Marshal Noventa." Trowa stopped there expecting Sara to realize the rest, which she did. 

Poor Heero, now she understood. He had killed Marshal Noventa unknowingly, a classic tale of not looking before you leap, and was now trying to get a hold of Marshal's closest relative. Probably to ask for death. Heero never could ask forgiveness so he went for the closest and most painless thing. Death. 

'Man,' Sara thought, 'This guy is more death oriented then me. He comes out of a what, 3 month coma and what is the first thing he does? Look to be killed. Gesh, how many times do you have to hit yourself on the head before you realize it hurts? Oh well I guess I shouldn't be talking. Trying to kill yourself 6 times definitely calls for some mental counseling.' But then as she finished that thought she remebered something. She knew where Silvia Noventa lived! She didn't know how but the exact location just came into her head. 'What a help I am'

"Hey Heero." Sara said softly so as not to frighten anyone after the odd silence. Heero sisn't budge at all and kept on typing and scrolling as if nothing had happened. A little annoyed by this Sara spoke a little louder.

"If I were you I'd try looking near the Zanc kingdom on Earth."

The mad typing stopped.She could tell that Heero wasn't happy with that remark .Slowly Heero turned his chair around and gave Sara a nasty look.

"You know where she is?"

Sara had to laugh a bit at the shere seriousness on Heero's face. She loved it when she tormented him.

"Well yeah sorta. I know she lives near the Zanc kingdom on Earth and if I'm not mistaken her address should be in the Zanc's public directory under Marshal Noventa." Sara said with a small smile.

Giving Sara another nasty look Heero turned back around and the screen changed to the Zanc kingdoms directory.

********

Eventually Heero did find Silvia's address. But not after berating Sara about how he could have used the information earlier and about how he had already sent an e-mail to Paegen, Relena Peacecraft's butler, to ask for Silvia's address. Sara had a laughing fit after the story came out, almost falling on the floor. 

After her laughter ceased she began to wonder about this Relena Peacecraft. She had remembered the name Peacecraft from when she was a child and knew that the Peacraft's used to be a really rich famliy who were the major pushers of total pacifism on the world. But she couldn't stop thinking about how Heero ever got to know someone like that. Just before she was about to ask she shut her mouth. She thought that she'd better not. She didn't want to open a can of worms bigger then she could handle. She decided to come to that crossroad when she ran into it 

Sara was now sitting in her room again waiting to hear from Trowa. Now that Heero was better and ready to leave they were going to go to Earth to find Silvia. He was supposed to come back to her room and confirm the day and date. He had asked Sara before he left what she was going to do. This brought up some thoughts in her mind. Come to think of it she had not idea what she was going to do. Now that she found the pilots of the gundams she thought about going with them, to try and re enter the war she was also supposed to be fighting in. But then again how could she do that when she had nothing to fight with. Of course there was always…… no. She had told herself that once she had hidden it she would never return to get it. Ever. 

Why not? She thought. She needed it probably as much as it needed her. It had been almost 2 months since she had hidden it and it was probably in pretty bad shape. She hated to think of it as wasting away in a lonley place. So what was the big problem? It should have been an easy decision, not one that she needed to think about for days. And she knew the answer to the question. When she went with Trowa and Heero to Earth she would sotp at L4. She would get it back. And rejoin the fight she should have been fighting.

*********

Ok sorry about the cliff hanger….again

But don't worry next time you'll se what this "it " is

byeeee

Wait for the upcoming chapter of "Rage Chokes The Flower…"

"A Time For Redemption."


	5. A Time For Redemption

"Rage Chokes The Flower…"

By: Sara Angeldust

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"Chapter 5: A Time For Redemption"

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__

Rage chokes the flower,

Until she cries no more,

Possessing all the beauty,

Hungry still for more,

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Disclaimer: regular disclaimer applies here. I do not own Gundam Wing , it is the property of it's respective owners and editors, the Sunrise© and Sotsu © companies. I only own Sara Angeldust. SHE'S MINE so don't take her without my permission ok? K.

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Another sleepless night. Sara knew the cause could never be excitement that was for certain. No. Her mind told her she was paranoid. She had to stifle a laugh. That was a regular occurrence now wasn't it. But ever since she left her fate she knew something watched her. As if something from her past watched her and guarded her. It had saved her already at least two or three times from herself. 

Maybe it was her conscience. Funny. Her own mind saving her own body. Now that was a real cause for a shrink visit. 'What's wrong you say?' Well I think my multiple personalities are having a fight.' Or maybe that wasn't it at all. Maybe it was the spirit of her dead parents. Sara never really believed in spirits and all that new age crap but once in a while things would happen and she wouldn't know why that certain thing came into her head or why she said that certain thing. As if someone had dug into her head and said 'Here say this!" 

Whatever it was it was always there. Being ever watchful and caring about what she did to herself. Well now she was going to settle that little voice in her head. Maybe even satisfy it's craving for her happiness. L-4 held the key to her past and future and that was where she was headed. 

Restlessly Sara look to her left at the digital clock. It's red glowing numbers read 5:30 am. Time to prepare for her little joy ride into the past. With no noise Sara rose from her bead and got dressed. Deciding today to try something new with her extremely long hair she pulled it into a half bun still letting a third of it fall. This did nothing for the length and it still reached to her waist. It occurred to her that she had never considered cutting it after all those years. But then she thought why start now and forgot her hair. 

As Sara walked to her desk thoughts of the day before flooded into her head. 

'We will be passing the L-4 colony at about 7:30 am tomorrow on our way to Earth. If your going to leave you'd better do it then. You may not get another chance.' She remembered Heero saying. 'Besides, we can't very well have you dragging around behind us.'

She had nodded in response to his sarcastic comment but inside she was thinking. About how she would leave and what she would bring. Now that the time had come Sara realized there would be nothing to bring from her small home except for a few items of clothing in a bag she had gotten from the manager. 

As Sara walked out of her adopted room she closed the door with a click. She had remember to say goodbye to Cathrine and the others she had met in the circus the weeks before. The manager, although a little reluctant, was pretty much ok with Sara leaving. She guessed that he realized that there were other pressing matters in Sara's life then just the circus. And as she walked down the metal hallway of the circus ship she realized that this new chapter in her life might turn out to be the most important ever. 

*************

As Sara worked on the last system checks of the deporting ship she noticed a figure appear behind her. It moved slowly as it entered the dock and then leaned against the wall. Sara smiled.

"Come to say your good-byes?" Sara asked as she entered the coordinates to L-4 into the ships computer. 

Trowa stood like a statue against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms folded over his chest. Perfect Trowa position. Any other person would have thought he was sleeping, but Sara knew better.

"No. Not really. Good-byes aren't my style." Trowa said slowly with an undetectable smile. Sara knodded as she finished the number code and heard the computer beep with authorization. 

She looked up at the red haired boy. Trowa just stood there as if nothing was happening. As if Sara was just doing some routine thing. Not as if she was leaving. She had to smile. Well that was Trowa. Heero and him were almost the same. Monotone on everything. Slowly Sara got out of the cock pit of the small shuttle, pretending to inspect the outer paneling.

Sara felt around the outer metal, checking for any spots that might want to come loose in her trip into outer space. She took great care in her work not just because it was important, but because she wanted to look busy. A she reached the end of the ships small wings and doubled back to the front Sara spoke.

"Thanks for everything Trowa. You don't know how important your saving me was."

At this Trowa looked up from his rest. She had his attention. 

"It's not just that you saved my life, but you also saved my soul. I was pretty messed up Trowa. Suicidal wasn't even the word for it. Because you took me out of that hole I thank you with all my heart."

As Sara looked at Trowa he gave her a weird look. She had to laugh. 

"Don't look so worried Trowa. I don't wanna marry you or anything. I just thought I'd say thanks just incase something happens." Sara said smiling and going back to her adopted work.

"I highly doubt anything will happen to you. Actually I don't think this will be the last time any of us see you."

Sara smiled at what Trowa said. That was for hell sure. She would see them again. 

"Yeah you got that right." Sara said as she climbed into the cock pit of the ship, her preliminary outer shell check done. With her good-byes said it was time to leave.

"Hey Sara." 

Sara looked up at Trowa from where she sat in the cock-pit. 

"Take care of yourself, ok." Trowa said looking at her. She smiled at him and looked back to her ship. By the time she glanced back where he had stood all she saw was his back walking out of the docks.

Sara nodded and smiled as she closed the cockpit door and stared the launching sequence to the ship.

"L-4 here I come."

*************

Sara watched from her small window as the circus ship passed by and out of the area where she had departed from. With that chapter of her life done and over with all she could look at was to the future. Although she had absolutely no idea of what she should do in the long run she tried to think of the immediate endeavor. Getting into L-4 would be, of course, easy. It was getting out and going somewhere that would give her hell. She knew she would have to get what she needed to reenter the war but getting in was the hard part. What place did she have in these Eve wars anymore. As far as she knew her missions had come to an end. She had done what she was sent to do. And yet, something still loomed in the back of her mind. A task not completed, a memory not yet confronted. Many of her past events felt just like that. A memory that she never confronted and even at times, ran away from. How complicated life could get! 

The beeping of her intercom interrupted her thoughts as she re awoke into reality. Had she already gotten close enough to L-4 to dock? By the looks of the man on her screen she had.

"Please enter your docking and authorization codes and please wait."

Sara did as the man said and entered her codes onto the frequency. She stared at a _'wait one moment as we process your codes'_ screen impatiently as the picky people on L-4 looked over her codes. She was accustomed to such precautions as the people of the colonies had gotten a little more wary of tourists that came to all colonies. Ever since the start of the Eve Wars the colonies were constantly in fear of outside attacks after L-2 and L-5 had been attacked. Besides the many troops already stationed outside of the colony Sara knew that inside there would be even more troops from both the Alliance and Oz. 

The seconds blipped away as the screen began to annoy her. Finally, the man returned to the screen to grant Sara entrance to the colony. As she entered the docks Sara hurriedly docked the ship into her assigned dock and shut down the ships computer. As she went about the ship Sara was thorough in making sure she left no evidence that she had ever been there, let alone any human being at all. She had deleted all the files and made sure to cover the internal tracks of the ship the night before, so no one could ever figure out where it had come from.

As Sara grabbed her bag from a corner of the ship she noticed something metallic shine from underneath the bag. She looked closer in curiosity and found the source. It was a gun. A rather nice one too. Next to it lay some money and extra rounds for the gun. Sara smiled at Heero's present. She was glad he wasn't totally heartless. Sara grabbed the gun, placed it at her side and put the money in her bag as she walked from the ship.

*************

L-4. The so called "rich" man's Colony. It was here that those wealthier of money had conjured to live. The colony was not only home to most of the Earth's movie stars and politicians summer homes, but also home to the industrial Winner family. This family of rich satellite owners had been famous for at least three decades. Not just for their great wealth and amazing numbers of offspring, but their almost single handed creation of L-4 itself. The stories of the family were numerous, and most of a good nature. Stories were a major thing on L-4. Stories and rumors of family's that almost climbed the rungs of the social ladder to become accepted. 

Years before the Winners ever occupied space another family lived. These people were the Reinhardt's. Behind them lay a large lineage of well to do people. These ranging from doctors and lawyers to politicians and industrial tycoons to a strong line of mechanical engineers. The family had thrived as the richest the world and space had ever seen for more then a century and a half. Now all that was left of the family were some bankrupt relatives and old mansions. In the year AC 188 the last successful Reinhardt named Dalic Adrian Reinhardt IV died. Assassinated for reasons only known to the last remaining members of the famous family.

Left behind from the last successful Reinhardt were two young daughters. Related family members often talked of a fortune being resurrected if only the daughters could be found. Though there was little hope and a long time span since the girls had last been seen. Two small glimmers of hope for a family doomed to fall into the shadows.

Sara remembered the stories perfectly. This great colony, this rich colony had more stories of wealth and power then she cared to remember. Probably because she knew most of them from the inside, after all this was her home.

As she walked down the oh so familiar streets, Sara couldn't help but want to smile, sing, and dance. No matter how many bad memories she could think of there was nothing that could take away her joy. She was home. Sara as almost startled as she felt herself smiling at the small children that ran rampant down the streets and even at all the large mansion as she passed through the more wealthy parts of the colony. Memories of her child hood flooded back to her periodically as she passed schools and familiar stores. Reality began to snap back into place as she began to get further and further into the industrial section of her old home. Sara became more aware of her surroundings as she passed buildings and storage facilities that brought memories more fresh then the others. As the last streets of nice, clean buildings disappeared Sara looked for the one facility she needed. AS she turned a junk filled corner she saw it. It had been almost 2 years since she had seen the rusted out building but she could never forget it.

Years before, the large hanger like building had been used as a storage facility, but had long been abandoned. Since that time the sides of the building had begun to rust away. Sara stood looking at it. She could see almost through it at points where the rust had eaten away at the weakened steel.

Sara stood still and silent as a mouse. The only motion was the wind, which ruffled her long black hair and bangs, carrying with it, voices from her past. Sara just stared. Memories of her childhood and adolescence pasted through her head, giving her courage. Sara sighed .

"Well, here goes everything." 

************

"This is cadet 057 reporting. I've got a visual on a possible spy. " 

The pilot said over his intercom. Maybe now the commander would notice him. He waited until he heard the commanders voice over the line.

"What do you have 057?" 

"I just saw a possible spy enter one of the old Alliance bunkers. We've been getting messages about Oz spies in the area. I think we should check it out sir." 057 waited as his commander debated over the thought and answered.

"Right. There's nothing going on over here so why don't you, 046, 098 and 023 go check it out. Report back if you find something. I want you back in less then 2 hours, got it?"

057 almost jumped out of his cockpit with joy.

"Yes sir, commander!" 

Excitedly, he turned his Leo towards the bunker.

*************

Sara moved slowly through the debris piled on the floor in the building. There must have been a battle near the building for there to be so much metal on the floor. She didn't remember there being so much junk the last time she had been there. As Sara reached the back of the bunker she came upon an extremely large door, big enough to fit a ship through. Finally getting in front of it, she looked on the wall for the switch to open it. As she looked, she heard a large amount of noise coming from the outside of the building. As Sara listened she knew what it was. Mobile suits! She began to search franticly for the switch. She had to get to door open!

*************

"046, and 023 , you guys search towards the front and 098 and I will look in the back." 

057 couldn't believe how good it felt to have power for once. He had worked his ass off for over a year and a half for that stupid commander of his and for what? No title movement and a lousy spot in the back of the corp. Now it was his turn at greatness. As soon as they found the spy he would be a hero! The commander would notice him and maybe even make him the co. commander. The possibilities were endless! 

As they got closer to the back of the bunker everything on his outer scanners began to get quiet. Too quiet for what he liked. Turning the camera's to the blackness of the back wall he saw something. A flash of a strange metal came to his eyes. As he looked closer he noticed that there was an extremely large door to the back. The door was slightly open, something that seemed odd. 

"098, go check out that bunker door." He said shouting his orders to the Leo that stood beside him. As the other Leo got closer to the door he backed up. Something was in there and he wasn't going to be the one to find out. He watched with much curiosity as the pilot got close enough to the door to open it and look into the old storage room. He heard the creaking of the old metal and the door swung open enough for the pilot to look in. It was then that he heard the man over the com.

"Sweet Jesus, it's a ahhhhhhh….." As 057 heard this, a large flash of light came from behind the door slicing the Leo into three pieces. A huge explosion followed sending debris from the exploded Leo everywhere.

"What the….." It was then that the pilot became truly frightened. Half insane the pilot punched at the buttons in his Leo until his commanders face appeared on the screen.

"Sir! Come in, this is 057! We've got some major…. Oh my God! It's a Gundam! Ahhhhhhhhh…." 

With that 057's side of the connection went dead.

*************

Sara was breathing heavily as she sliced through one Leo and another. They kept coming and she kept slicing. She ignored their shocked expressions and screams for their gods as she made her way past the corp. War had been her way of life, and it felt good to be engaged in battle again. 

Beads of sweat fell into her eyes as she destroyed the last of the corp. She remembered the saying that Dr. J had taught her when she was younger. 

"Those who lays eyes on a Gundam shall never live to tell of it." 

Sara mouthed these words as she settled into the cockpit. Wiping the sweat from her brow she searched the cockpit for the right button. Finding it she pushed it and everything on her screen turned a shade of green. Stealth mode. What a great invention. 

Sara looked about the cockpit as if she had just been reunited with a long lost friend. Memories of battles and explosions filled her head as she remembered her first days in Shadow. Shadow. The name filled her head. She had remembered her Gundam's name. Then again how could she ever forget it? He had been her war companion for years. 

Sara looked over the familiar control panels of Shadow linking each button to a memory. So she hadn't forgotten each thing after all. It hadn't been that long after all. It sure had seemed like more then a century since she left Shadow in the old bunker and went out to try and commit suicide. Sara cringed at the thought of her suicide attempts actually working. At the time it had seemed like the best idea, but now she was glad that she hadn't gone through with it. 

Looking at her screen Sara watched as her Gundam just stood in front of the buildings as if nothing had happened. Of course, the scattered remains of the destroyed Leo's proved other wise. Sara waited for twenty minutes inside the cockpit of Shadow. More or less just to savor the feeling of being in the cockpit again, but also to see if a rescue crew would come to see what happened. Oz troops of a feather flocked together, as they say, and where there was one corp. another wasn't far behind. It stunned Sara that after that much time no other team had come to check out what had gone wrong. She guessed that this corp. had not been that important and that they're destruction was not going to be missed much. Sara shook her head in pity. Those poor soldiers. It was a horrible thing to not be missed in death. Sara sighed. Sensing that her vigilance was over she powered up the thrusters to Shadow and took off into the colony's sky.

*************

The day was quiet as a pair of light green eyes stared with much love and emotion into the sky of the colony. Behind these eyes lay a sadness and despair that only those dedicated to a life of war and killing would posses. These eyes watched as the fake clouds passed by, once in awhile letting them see the buildings of the other side of the colony come into view. Colonies were amazing in that they didn't have just one floor and a huge sky, but two floors where the sky danced in the middle. These mirror images were ideal for painters and artisans of the worlds, but confusing and sometime terrifying to those who had not grown accustomed to seeing two grounds. These eye on the other hand had grown up here in this false world and grew to love it's majesty and grace. 

As the eyes grew weary and tired they glanced back into the interior of the limousine that they were in. As the scenery passed by, the wind came into the car which made the eyes feel comforted. As they looked on towards the gaining horizon a hand came up to move the lowing blonde hair from the view of the green eyes. 

"How great it is to be visiting our home again." The male voice said to no one.

"How I have missed L-4 so much."

************* 

As the Shadow flew silently through the colonies sky Sara had the chance to gaze out at the area's where she herself had grown up. The views of the hills and parks that were scattered about made a warm feeling again take it's place in her heart. It was then that Sara stopped Shadow mid-flight. How could it be? It…it had been destroyed. No. Sara couldn't move. The sight before her eyes was becoming more and more like a nightmare. Sara almost doubled over as haunting images made their ways from the back of her mind and into her head again.
    "NO! I won't think of it! I don't want to remember! Leave me ALONE!" 
    Sara screamed into her cockpit as she tried to stop the pictures from entering her head. The smells even seemed to be coming back to her. The stink of smoke and charred oak filled her nostrils with hatred and fear. How could her head do this to her. Then again it was the image on her screen that had started this. Taking her hands away from her eyes Sara stared at the image. She couldn't believe it and yet there it was, right in front of her staring at her like a broken piece of her past. A piece that she knew she needed to confront. How she was going to do it she was not sure of. Lightly, as if the controls of Shadow were parts of a china doll, Sara aimed Shadow towards the broken remains of the Reinhardt family mansion.

*************

Well there it is. Dun dun dun…..another cliff hanger. Man we should have a party! This is the farthest I have ever gotten in ANY fanfiction I have ever written! F I V E C H A P T E R S! goodness it's been so long since I started this. Ok enough with the speech u probably want to hear about the next chapter, ne? ok let me seeeeeeeee, what should I name the next chapter? For all ur informations, I always name the next chapters right after I finish the one before it. So let me seeeee, ooooo I KNOW! 

Coming soon, to a website near you:

"Rage Chokes The Flower…" 

Chapter 6:

"Through The Eyes of Peace"

AUTHORS NOTE!:

I soon will be doing some editing changes to the earlier chapters of this story. I wrote them awhile ago and I'm not that happy with how they sound now. Look for the revisions!


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